Once she got clarity about what she wanted, she met her soulmateThe real reason you’re still single.

What are some of the judgments that you have about men? Write them down, too. Are they too scary? Do they always leave? Are they too powerful? Do you think all the good ones are already taken?

When you become aware of the judgments that you have about yourself or men, you can acknowledge that they are just judgments and you can replace them with truth statements. For example, if you’re judging your body, the truth statement you can replace it with is, “I know that my soulmate loves and adores my body exactly as it is.”

Keep reciting your truth statements every time you catch yourself in a moment of judgment.

3. Do you show men your true self?

When dating or in a relationship, you’re encouraged to just be yourself. Yet, how many people truly are themselves in their relationships?

Have you ever been aware of separating parts of yourself to be in a relationship? I have. I’ve cut off and sacrificed, parts of my values, my beliefs, and my body (not literally, of course) to be in a relationship with a man who I thought was my soulmate.

I even cut off my own happiness, in order to make him happy.

As women, we come from a long line of ‘people pleasers’ who have traditionally been taught to sacrifice their wants and needs for their husband’s and family’s wants and needs.

What would it be like to be in a soulmate relationship where you don’t have to separate from yourself to be with another?

It may not shift overnight. But the more times you catch yourself, the more times you’ll make a different choice — and the easier it will become.

4. Do you know the difference between being ‘in love’ and ‘loving’?

Love is our natural, authentic state of being. However, when you decide that you are in love with someone, you often have expectations of them to meet your needs.

If you’re in love someone and they’re in love with you too, then you’ve obtained your goal of falling in love. But the love you have is already within you, so you can’t get it from anyone else anyway — even your soulmate. It just gets activated by others.

Loving, on the other hand, is an ongoing action and a state of gratitude. Loving allows for awareness, joy, and possibility.

When you are loving your partner, you are consciously choosing to show them the love you have, that you care for them, and that you’re willing to nurture them and the relationship.

5. Do you have a wall up to protect yourself?

So many people have underlying feelings of conflict towards the opposite sex that keep them from finding their soulmate.

Some women feel that they are in constant competition to prove that they’re just as good, if not better, than their male counterparts. Others feel that they are helpless or dependent when it comes to men. They may feel that they need to exert power around men or control their man.

If you experience any of these feelings, you are not allowing for a true, authentic soul-level connection to develop. You have a wall of protection up that doesn’t allow for a man to truly get close to you or to get to know the real you. You are not available to truly receive from them.

Everyone tends to put walls up as a way to “protect themselves”. But when your walls are up, you’re not authentically available to your soulmate. You’re busy hiding behind the fear, doubt, or worry that is keeping you separate from another. You see men as a threat or yourself as weak.

In order to shift this, you need to see them as equals. They might be bigger and stronger, but they are still just humans who want and need to be loved, appreciated, and respected.

The more self-aware you become — and truly show up in the world as your whole self — the more magnetic you’ll be, especially to your soulmate.

You have everything you need in order to find your soulmate. Be grateful for where you are in your life now. Your soulmate will come as soon as you’re truly ready for him.

I am an internationally-known dating coach, professional speaker, workshop leader, and author of The One Simple Secret to Attracting Your Soulmate Now. To learn more about becoming un-single, or for a free Become Your Soulmate’s Soulmate Strategy Session, click here.

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