How to know if he deserves your love (or not)!

I know firsthand what it’s like to be with someone who’s “just not that into you.” I think we’ve all been there done that.

But it’s time for you to take your power back and begin to show up as the amazing woman that you are!

Too many times, women have shared with me all the ways that they’ve worked so hard to get a man or keep the man, but still ended up alone, and they were completely baffled as to why.

They thought if they loved him enough, he’d come around. Instead, he ran right for the hills.

Sophia met this amazing guy, Miguel, through a mutual friend. They went on a date and there was instant chemistry. Miguel called her the next day to schedule date number two.

After that date, she was in deep. However, she mistook her feelings to be more than they really were, and thought he was feeling the same way. She was all in!

Unfortunately, he wasn’t there just yet. Within a few weeks, he called her to say that he didn’t feel like they should see each other anymore. Sophia was devastated. She thought for sure that this was her “one.”

Too many women also put up with their man’s bad behavior for far too long.

Rachel and Lucas were together for about six months before they got into their first official fight. They were on a walk, and Rachel had asked Lucas to go a different route than their usual one.

Lucas was pretty short in his response, but Rachel didn’t think too much about it. As she was admiring all the flowers in bloom, he asked her what her problem was. She was completely perplexed by this question as she was just enjoying nature.

She responded with, “Nothing.” When they got home, he laid into her again about what her problem was because she was acting weird. She couldn’t understand what he was talking about, as she was just being herself. He ended up blowing up at her because she wouldn’t tell him what her problem was and stormed out of her apartment.

When he had cooled down and returned, they had a long talk about how he couldn’t just blow up like this and it wasn’t OK for him to treat her this way. He apologized and said he would never do it again. Unfortunately, this went on for two years before Rachel couldn’t take his empty promises any longer and finally broke up with him.

If he really loved her and wanted to be with her, why wasn’t he willing to do whatever it took to change his behavior?

And then there’s the way in which we “divorce” ourselves to be with the man we love.

Katy and Mark had been dating pretty seriously for about six weeks and things were going great. One night, Mark told Katy that he would come over when he got home from work.

At the last minute, he texted Katy that he was going to Jim and Alison’s for dinner instead. She’d never heard of them, so she asked who they were. He said that Jim was a co-worker. She was easy-going, so she told him to have a good time. As he was driving over there, he texted her that his phone was about to die and that he would call her the next day.


The next morning, she got a text from him that said, “It was so great to see you. Good luck at your meeting today. I love you.” She didn’t have a meeting that day and they weren’t at the “I love you” place in their relationship.

When she responded with “Did you mean to send these to me?” he told her that he had seen his ex the night before, that he wasn’t fully over her as they had only broken up a couple of months prior to them dating, and that he needed a break to get closure.

She ended up getting back together with him a few weeks later, only to have it end for good a few months later. She felt so hurt, not only because she did fall in love with him, but also because she knew he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. She decided it was worth the risk, but in the end it wasn’t.

The woman above blamed their choices on love: “If I didn’t love him so much, then I would’ve ended it.”

They blamed their choices on the man he could be: “I know he’s got the potential to do better.”

They blamed his choices on themselves: “I know I can make him love me.”

Why are we fighting for a man that isn’t fighting for us? Why are we allowing ourselves to be treated this way? Why are we trying to be with a man that we have to convince to want to be with us?

What did all of these women have in common? They didn’t value themselves enough. They didn’t know their own self-worth.

So many times, women will give their hearts to a man and then wait and see what he’ll do with it.

Essentially, they put all of the responsibility on the man, who doesn’t want that kind of pressure to begin with, and then he ends up losing interest. Confidence is the number one attractant in any relationship, and that includes honoring yourself first!

If you can relate to any of these stories, ask yourself these questions:

Who do I need to be to show up as the woman I am capable of being? The potential girlfriend I am capable of being? The potential wife I am capable of being?

Is the man that is/was treating me this way really the man that I want to be in a long-term relationship with?

Is he putting as much energy into the relationship as I am?

Is he honoring me? Am I honoring me?

Hopefully, in gaining some empowering perspective and clarity, you won’t ever experience another relationship with a man that doesn’t absolutely adore you, cherish you, honor you, and want to spend every waking moment with you again. Because the man that does is truly the man you deserve!

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